Squad Patrol's Blogging

Do you ever feel like the days are dragging on? I find taking a three hour nap helps make the day go quicker. This should only be done on days you are not working.

Who decided Linda Cohn was the sportscaster that most represented the millennial generation. How is a 43 year old woman the face of ESPN's X-Games coverage. If I wanted to see a middle aged woman in Ugg boots, Linda. I would travel back to 2004 when Ugg boots were still in style and go anywhere because those things were everywhere and on everyone. That was 2004 though. If you don't even know when to jump on trend bandwagons when it's still trendy, you aren't allowed to pretend you have insights about the world's hottest mountain boarder, if I'm not.

The title of this article pretty much says it all. A brand new trailer for When A Stranger Calls (WASC) is playing right now as I type this sentence. The one good thing about a thousand different cuts of the trailer is that I've seen the whole movie. I can spend $15 on something important now like the Final Destination 20 DVD. This time around 6 friends escape barely dying from Mexican stabbing weasels. I can buy the Death To Smoochy DVD with the change. My favorite cut is the happy go lucky version. For a second I thought WASC wasn't going to be a horror movie like the 100 other trailers before that one made it out to be.

The people behind When A Stranger Calls might as well take it one step further to show us how bad the movie is going to be by merchandising with a fast food chain. This guarantees the movie is going to be horrible. We have the new Star Wars movies as great examples of fast food chain downfalls.

A new trailer is playing right now. Ohhhhh the movie is actually a romantic comedy. Mark Ruffalo is the killer! He's such an awkward dream boat.

Why does Nicholas Cage always get to play Good-Looking Badasses?
Think about it. National Treasure, Con Air, The Rock. He's got the cool lines, a hot girlfriend. It doesn't add up.

I mean, I understand how Nicholas Cage, the actor, could have a hot girlfriend, cause he's a huge celebrity and he's rich, but the guy he's playing in the movie isn't a big time Hollywood Actor, he's some dipshit scientist or something.

Yet this guy continues to get the role as the big romantic lead as the good-looking badass. The main problem with that. He's not good looking, or a badass. It's like having Dakota Fanning play The Predator. Which is ridiculous. We all know the only person that can play the predator is Whoopie Goldberg.

I can only think of one movie in which Nicholas Cage was good looking, and that was the one where he was wearing John Travolta's face. Wake up, people!

- Madoon

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